Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' "Turtles at the Earth's Core" (1989)
- J. Karson Key
- Mar 9, 2016
- 5 min read
“Following dinosaurs into large holes wasn’t a very smart plan.”
Friends and dinosaur lovers, it has been some time since the last Of a Mesozoic Mind submission—and, for that, I am deeply sorry. In the time away, I managed to join the Society of Vertebrate Paleontology—because, after all, an awe-inspiring brain trust of countless multi-degreed agents of real scientific change needs nothing more than a snarky dino-hobbyist and his reviews of obscure dinosaur-pop culture marriages. Seriously though, if you have a chance, check out the SVP and all that they’re doing in the world of paleontology—it’s quite remarkable.
And you know what else is remarkable? Mutant martial artists encountering a hidden realm of our favorite prehistoric behemoths. From an entertainment franchise standpoint, there are few properties that I love more than Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I was hooked at a young age on the brooding Eastman and Laird comics; then, I was re-energized by the spunky and silly animated adventures and corresponding toy lines. Each subsequent attempt has caught my attention with equal amounts of intrigue and dedication—yes, even Next Mutation. From the Triceratons to Shote, dinosaurs have always had a significant place in the many iterations of the Turtle-verse.
In 1989, the original animated series was well into its third season. It knew what it was and, because of that self-awareness, was churning out classic episodes at a frequent pace. For the 10th episode in the season, veteran writer Michael Reaves (The Transformers, Batman: Animated Series, Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, Star Wars: Droids, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, The Real Ghostbusters, The Smurfs) was tapped to bring dinosaurs into the fold and portray the first on-screen interaction between our four favorite pizza-chomping reptiles and their Mesozoic cousins. For those fans that classified the animated series as their gateway drug into "Turtlemania", they were unaware of the role of dinosaurs in the series—so Reaves repurposed the all-too-familiar “lost world” plot made famous by Doyle, Burroughs, Cooper, Harryhausen, and Dinosaucers. Okay, maybe not Dinosaucers. We will eventually tackle that beast. I can’t say that Reaves nailed the episode but his effort was admirable if not a bit predictable.
The episode starts with the Fab Four searching for the Technodrome from their sewer home because “constant vigilance is the best weapon against tyrants” (thank you, Splinter). April barges in and interrupts the turtles’ discussion with the difficult dilemma of where to vacation. After some rumbling and shaking, the gang goes topside to see what’s causing the commotion. As you probably guessed, it’s a rampaging Diplodocus. The gargantuan looks a bit more Camarasaurus than Diplodocus—and he comes with all of the traits that one would expect from a 1980’s animated sauropod: smiley, friendly, and possessing an oiled-up back so you can slide from neck to tail ala Fred Flintstone. After Leonardo misidentifies his weight (by about 80+ tons), they follow the giant herbivore into a huge hole—right smack dab in the middle of a park. Somehow, the dinosaur manages to trek through the tunnel and into the mysterious prehistoric land—but our four heroes need the use of a blimp.
Shredder and his henchmen, Rocksteady and BeBop, are already scoping out the place—in fact, it was the dastardly sidekick duo that sent the Diplodocus to the surface (much to the chagrin of Shredder; he would’ve preferred a Tyrannosaurus). We quickly learn the full reasoning behind the discovery of this dinosaur-filled wonderland—it’s the native home to a crystal that produces a radiation strong enough to power up the idle Technodrome. Of course it does. Tell Sir Arthur Conan Doyle to take that!
The turtles entrance via blimp is spoiled by an odd pterosaur hybrid (Rhamphorhyncus meets Pteranodon) and they land in front of an extremely "arm-y" Tyrannosaurus. Another angry theropod butts in and engages the T-Rex—and, then, in one of the most peculiar writing decisions in the history of dinosaur-related media, the Tyrannosaurus tosses the other beast aside with a judo-esque throw. Yes, the dinosaur ridiculed for decades in pop culture for having one major (and hilarious) flaw—short arms—uses them to toss another multi-ton carnivore to the ground with authority. Michael, I’m going to call that a big miss.
Over the next few scenes, we learn that the turtles have named the Diplodocus – “Dippy”, that Krang’s Foot soliders can construct a titanium mobile fortress in a matter of seconds (very handy skill), the turtles don’t understand the difference between a “Foot” soldier and a “Rock” solider in a brief bit of confusing dialogue, “Dippy” understands English, and it’s never good to have a mid-air collision with an over-sized Archaeopteryx. The plot advances when the aforementioned crystal appears on screen, sitting atop a naturally-occurring pedestal and surrounded by a Triceratops, Stegosaurus, and an especially toothy Pachycephalosaurus. It goes without saying that we are operating under the oft-used fictional device – “when it comes to dinosaurs in film or television, you can ignore the actual time of their existence and the Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous periods are one single block of parallel time”.
Rocksteady and Bebop blast the crysal with a gun—which sets off a laser light show sans the Pink Floyd soundtrack—and alerts the turtles and “Dippy” as to the presence of Shredder and the crystal. Despite surviving Shredder's ominous “microwave ray” that turns tar into lava, our shell-back friends can’t prevent him from escaping with the crystal, though it’s damaged in transit. “Dippy” becomes quite sad—which leads to Donatello’s immediate and spot on hypothesis: the crystal is the life force and source for the dinosaur inhabitants of this hidden world. Makes total sense to me.
As Krang prepares to repair the crystal’s cracks from Shredders USPS-like handling, the turtles and their dinosaur friends break in and force the bad guys to retreat—without their precious radiation-spewing rock. The turtles fix the blimp amidst tears from “Dippy” and, then, try and persuade April to vacation in the tropical paradise that is this lost world. She’s not convinced. In one of the more bizarre endings in cartoon history, April is picked up by the pterosaur and carried away as the turtles laugh. I didn’t see the abduction and likely death by weird carnivorous flying beast ending coming. Dark. Well done, Reaves, well done.
Is this one of the top Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles episodes during the run of the original series? No. It’s too formulaic to be in the upper tier of entries, however, it’s fun and goofy and not without its fair share of great lines. Also, kudos to Reaves and the crew for not focusing on the Tyrannosaurus—its twenty second cameo flies in the face of all other dinosaur-themed episodes in the 1980s that featured the “Tyrant Lizard King” as the main antagonist. Throw in an out-of-nowhere ending and that’s good enough for me.
The Super Official “Of A Mesozoic Mind” Rating (out of a possible 5 Public Domain Triceratops Heads)
