More Dinosaurs (1985)

“This isn’t some little documentary on the history of fur balls.”

The Kleenex-thin paper. The ink smears dotting my chubby elementary school hands like poorly defined tattoos. And the choices, oh the choices. How great was the Scholastic Book Fair order form? This childhood favorite was more than a simple multi-sheet guide to all things written word; it was our passport to adventure or mystery or the consumption of information. And we didn’t need the Dewey Decimal System or a library card—just a few bucks and patience (why did those things take six months to arrive? I would love to go back in time and try and explain Amazon Prime to them).

On the back page of one of these bringers of educational joy, a VHS simply titled, More Dinosaurs, caught my eye. That moment will never leave me. Right up there with my wedding, my first over-the-fence home run, and my first time watching Buckaroo Banzai. I’m sure that there was a blurb of some sort on the advertisement, likely pitching the merits of this kid’s documentary—but all it needed to command and, subsequently, conquer my attention was the word “dinosaur”. Little did I know then, that this purchase would open up a world of imagination and intellectual curiosity that hasn’t left me over these past thirty years.

More Dinosaurs was my gateway drug into the ecosystem of Midwich Entertainment’s “Dinosaur Shows”. Hosted by the late television icon, Gary Owens (Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, Roger Ramjet, and the original Space Ghost), and Chicago’s foremost dinosaur enthusiast, the talented and ever-so-congenial Eric Boardman, the “Dinosaur Shows” continued on with Dinosaurs, Dinosaurs, Dinosaurs, Son of Dinosaurs, and Return of Dinosaurs—not to mention a Cenozoic-focused Prehistoric World. I truly hope to review the entire Midwich roster over time as I owe much of my love of paleontology to these shows.

Yes, there are times (though not as many as you would think) when scientific accuracy takes a back seat to entertainment—but you know what—it’s a bit refreshing. We are inundated almost daily with new discoveries in the world of paleobiology. Rendering programs and documentaries obsolete has become a sort of sadistic sport.

Maybe it’s the nostalgia talking but I miss the days in which we can embrace dinosaurs as the unique entities that they are, blending real science and history with imagination and creativity like no other topic has ever been able to accomplish. I am not saying we go “full-Godzilla”—but entertainment that spawns inquisitiveness should be heralded. So, I’m warning you before you proceed—I might overlook a few dated and cringe-worthy moments because More Dinosaurs is sewn into the tapestry of my being as much as any other content that I have ever consumed.

For those that are familiar with the “Dinosaur Shows”, you probably are asking—what about the first installment Dinosaurs that aired back in 1984-1985? After all, you have to have “Dinosaurs” before you can have “More” of them, right? However, much of the content that aired was repackaged in More Dinosaurs; what you don’t get are the few transitional pieces from Gary and Eric. Some of these are available on YouTube (the official intro to Dinosaurs), however, it is unlikely that these will ever resurface in totality—at least, commercially.

The piece opens with a seemingly lost Eric Boardman navigating a creepy dinosaur-themed dwelling—which turns out to be his rendezvous point with our other co-host, the incomparable Gary Owens (reading Ranger Rick’s Dinosaur Book, nonetheless). In actuality, the house belongs to Donald F. Glut—the writer behind the hugely popular Empire Strikes Back novelization, creator of many of the characters in the Masters of the Universe franchise, screenwriter for a litany of popular kids shows and dino-related projects, and director to some of the worst exploitation films attempting to be passed off as “cult classics” (Countess Dracula’s Orgy of Blood, anyone?).

Nowadays, his home is used as a backdrop for his not-so-family friendly online destination featuring confused bikini models posing with his dinosaur toys. Not joking. He’s an odd dude. But I digress. We find out from the opening scene two important things — 1) Eric is going to go on a “dinosaur safari” to bring a real dinosaur back to Gary and 2) I really need to get a robotic Pteranodon. Gary transitions seamlessly into announcer-mode when selling Eric on the concept of a dinosaur hunt—and we are all better for it.

Cue the opening credits! The music is not just “1980s”—it’s “1980s Elemetary School-Appropriate Goofiness”. That’s a compliment, I think. Just the right amount of synth horn fusion. We get some Monty Python-esque dino art—and there was much rejoicing. We get some anthropomorphic dinosaurs stylized as our two wonderful hosts. And, most importantly, we get more Gary Owens narration.

“Dinosaurs. The terrible lizards. They mysteriously died out 65 million years ago. Or did they?”

Probably not the right tease for an educational film—but Gary pulls it off. It helps that it’s coupled with some sensational claymation work of a punk Struthiomimus (or something similar) trying to be Banksey before Banksey. The animation is courtesy of the Chiodo Brothers (Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Team America: World Police, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure) and the dinosaur clearly spray paints “Chiodo Bros” on the wall (the full animation can be seen on YouTube). However, with the slightly darkened shot, More Dinosaurs morphs “Chiodo Bros” into “Mokele Mbembe”. This is where we start Eric’s quest to bring home a dinosaur.

I’ll be honest, tackling obvious folklore right out the gate is a bold move for a children’s program. We meet Herman Regusters and he discusses the hardships and trials of being a dinosaur hunter, outside of ya’ know, not being able to find dinosaurs. We learned that, while in the Congo searching for the ancient “Mokele-mbembe”, he ate tree roots and jungle animals and lived off the land—but did he do it in his neat looking red sweater? Who knows? The first sightings and tracks were found in the 1770s, and good ol’ Hermie claims that he also saw the monster, believed to be a sauropod, during his trek and estimated its length around thirty-five feet.

His photographic evidence is very, well, hippo-like. Regusters made some waves amongst the academia circles with the sound recording of the beast which was unidentifiable by all accounts from numerous wildlife experts; they should’ve asked a plumber because its clearly a toilet flushing. Eric ends the segment by politely calling it fantasy hogwash without calling it fantasy hogwash—accomplished via his folksy, inviting demeanor that was tailor-made for this type of program; and we transition from dinosaurs in folklore to dinosaurs in pop culture.

Fittingly, the first media referenced is the 1985 movie, Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, which was loosely based on the legend of Mokele-mbembe. The soothing tones of Mr. Owens present us clips of the 1925 silent film version of The Lost World (Brontosaurus references #1 and #2) and Winsor McCay’s ground breaking 12-minute animated short from 1914, Gertie the Dinosaur (Brontosaurus reference #3).

The next line from Eric as we transition from our favorite fictional dinosaurs can’t be overstated.

“Ya’ know, all those movies are great but they aren’t necessarily the best way to learn about dinosaurs. To do that, you should study them scientifically and that can be just as fascinating.”

That simple statement is why More Dinosaurs works to this day. It doesn’t showcase its artistically enhanced (or, in some cases, dumbed down to frumpy proto-lizards) dinosaurs without the modest disclaimer that entertainment is entertainment and science is science.

As we move into the more hard science approach to Dinosauria, Mr. Boardman travels to Berkeley to join a gathering of paleontologists. Right out the gates, the guns are a blazin’ as Eric asks the legendary Dr. Edwin Colbert about the myths and fabrications that movies and television are spreading regarding dinosaurs. Dr. Colbert keeps it simple for the target audience and crushes the dinosaur and man living together myth that might have been prevalent in certain pro-Creationist school systems of that time. Dr. Colbert explains that the movies also tend to exaggerate the creatures as all being “monsters” when some were probably quite docile (Brontosaurus reference #4).

The viewers are abruptly treated to more Gary Owens and he reminds us how the movies have treated the topic of the dinosaur family unit. For all you kaiju fans, Minya even gets a nice nod. Since they harpooned Hollywood’s depiction of dinosaurs for the first ten minutes, Gary pivots and gives the movies a little credit for their potentially semi-accurate stance on the dino parenting. We get a quick shot of the famous Mongoloian “Protoceratops” eggs (which actually, due to a recent re-examination, are Oviraptor eggs). Gregory Paul, one of the chief engineers behind the “updated” look of dinosaurs in the 1970’s (active, warm-blooded, and, for some, feathered) explains to us that herds of sauropodfootprints were discovered in the 1930s but they were largely ignored by the scientific community (Brontosaurus reference #5).

Eric is back engaged in his safari and he finally catches a break—a Stegosaurus! A Triceratops! Diplodocus! Out of nowhere, he is confronted by the civic leaders of Vernal, Utah and is awarded petrified dinosaur dung instead of the symbolic key to the city (and upgrade if you ask me). More Dinosaurs explores another aspect of dinosaurs in modern life—their influence over community. And no community embraces dinosaurs like the good people from Vernal. Unfortunately, they don’t embrace acting. Yikes.

Eric confronts what appears to be a drifter (with the look of Carl from Sling Blade and the acting chops of Keanu Reeves) and asks him for directions to Dinosaur National Monument. Eric Boardman deserved an Emmy for being able to finish the scene with that guy! For a moment there, I thought I was in a low budget slasher flick courtesy of Donald Glut; luckily, a quick cut to Dinosaur National Monument brings us back to the world of More Dinosaurs.

I instantly recalled from my own personal experience as a child the awe-inspiring presence that Dinosaur National Monument demanded on the screen. This segment takes More Dinosaurs back to hard science and back to inspiring a generation of future paleontologists. He does it with the help of paleontologist Dan Chure (looking like a mall rent-a-cop) as he shows us various pelvic bones of "Brontosauruses" (references #6 and #7). Chure then impresses us with some neck vertebrae from an exceptionally humongous Apatosaurus. “Danny Boy” concisely explains the similarities between car enthusiasts and paleontologists; providing some nice anecdotes regarding how stonemasonry techniques were the basis for excavating fossilized dinosaur remains.

Eric then proceeds to destroy Dinosaur National Monument. Damn you, Eric.

An agitated Gary guides us through an inspired animated clip outlining the fossil process from soup to nuts—or rather, death to museum display. By now, you are probably wondering why I’ve been calling out the references to our formerly favorite skeletal chimera, Brontosaurus. This segment actually outlines that a “recent” discovery showed that Brontosaurus was actually an Apatosaurus body with a Camarasaurus head—thus, making it a fictional entity.

So my question that I always had with More Dinosaurs, if this fact was not only known but they actually addressed it in the show, why are there so many damn references to the popular junior synonym? Hell, Dr. Edwin Colbert even said it! Before you read on, yes, I am aware of the 2015 study that positions Brontosaurus as a unique species. I’m sure Dr. Robert Bakker is thrilled but there is no reason a kid’s documentary thirty years earlier should have been so reckless.

Just as I became a bit upset at one of my favorite dino shows of all-time, they redeem themselves in a big way. Gary poses a simple question to the viewer about how many Tyrannosauruses took a healthy bite into a Brontosaurus (had to use it again, huh? #8) during the “Age of Dinosaurs”? Of course, the answer is zero. He informs us that T-Rex’s existence was closer to our own than to an Apatosaurus.

Since most dinosaur programs like to depict a variety of species living together, children tend to have difficulty understanding the gaps of time between some of these species’ duration on this planet—even the ones that fully grasp that dinosaurs and man weren’t contemporaries. The point is hammered home by the “George Carlin of Paleontologists”, Dr. Nick Hotton of the Smithsonian—and he drops two more “Bronto-bombs” (#9 and #10) along the way. Dr. Hotton (an ardent detractor of the “warm-blooded” dinosaur theory of Dr. Robert Bakker and just about everyone else) walks us through the history of the planet from single-celled organisms through the end of the Cretaceous. He then sells us on the idea that to him and many kids, dinosaurs are “very much alive.”

With that not-so-subtle transition, we are in an elementary classroom with Eric. He asks them their favorite dinosaurs (“we like Steggy”) and, of course, he has to insert a vote for Brontosaurus (#11). Of all of the segments, this feels the most dated. The fashion. Oh man, the fashion. Aside from the horrendous garbs, their answers are just as bad. But, like Manos, Hands of Fate or Plan 9 from Outer Space, “really bad” can sometimes be “really entertaining”.

Eric: “Why do you think kids love dinosaurs so much?“ 80’s Teacher: “They can become a dinosaur.“

Yes, let’s run with that response.

Eric is now deeply engaged with some Play-doh. This naturally segues into a snippet from Will Vinton’s timeless Dinosaur claymation short. Since the entire piece was repackaged for Dinosaurs! A Fun-Filled Trip Back in Time (1987)—something that I have previously reviewed—I won’t waste anymore of your time here. But you can check out my thoughts on that (and more) by visiting that previous entry.

Eric sends it back to Gary to give us one last educational segment. Our old friend, Dr. Colbert, provides us a brief synopsis of the discovery of dinosaurs in the 1840s and name drops Sir Richard Owen like nobody’s business. Gary gives a nice shoutout on behalf of the great museums of the country—and I would bet attendance spiked dramatically in 1985 with an endorsement from a pitchman like Mr. Owens.

Back at Glut’s dinosaur compound, Gary tries to conclude the show but is interrupted by a returning Eric. He gives Gary one his clay dinosaurs that he made with the kids, the fossilized dung from Vernal, and a real dino fossil. Gary is not impressed. He wants a “grabber” to close the show because this “is not some little documentary on the history of fur balls”. Well, Eric has his “grabber”.

He pulls back the curtain to reveal that he brought Gary back a “real” Tyrannosaurus. But he’s hungry. Amidst some really great spy music, our two hosts proceed to turn a corner and end up in the theropod’s stomach. Happens all the time.

And we end this wild journey.

The Smithsonian’s Brian Switek referred to More Dinosaurs as a “dinosaur mix tape” and I couldn’t agree more. Eric’s “dino safari” brings to light dinosaurs’ place across numerous verticals — hard science, movies and pop culture, community, childhood education, and folklore. It’s a celebratory quest focusing on the unique space that these extinct creatures occupy in our present day world. More Dinosaurs teaches us how to love dinosaurs and, more importantly, how to love learning about dinosaurs.

The Super Official “Of A Mesozoic Mind” Rating (out of a possible 5 Public Domain Triceratops Heads)